Umlauts weren't an option

Title: – Passing Through History
Author(s): – The Carlisle Cooperative
Characters: – Ninth Doctor, Rose
Rating: – K
Summary: – The Doctor takes Rose for a visit with the (in)famous Cleopatra. Rather, he tries to; he might have got the time a bit wrong.
Disclaimer: – Alas, neither the Doctor nor Rose (nor even the TARDIS) belong to the Carlisle Cooperative. We write this story out of deep love and respect for the characters, especially as created by RTD, but recognize that they are the property of the BBC.
Author's Notes: – Written for the Anywhere but Cardiff ficathon on time_and_chips; our prompt was “Egypt, during the reign of the Pharaohs, 1153 BC.”

“You know, she’s not really like that.”

Rose did not look up from the DVD of Rome that she was watching. Whenever the Doctor took her home, she stocked up on DVDs for the few lazy times when the TARDIS sat in cruise control in the Vortex while the Doctor tinkered with her. The Doctor pretended not to watch these DVDs when Rose retreated to the library, where the TARDIS had helpfully placed a DVD player and TV for her. But he always ended up in the library near her, book open on his lap while he actually watched the latest show raptly. And Rose knew that he had been watching Rome over her shoulder. “Who?” she asked, maybe more scathingly than she had intended. “Cleo?”

“Cleopatra’s a long name, y’know. What’s wrong with calling her Cleo for short?”

“Nothing,” said Rose, innocently.

There was a moment of silence while they watched the DVD. “Shakespeare just didn’t do her any favours writing her character that way in the play.”

“Well, Shakespeare didn’t have a time machine,” Rose pointed out, “so how was he to know any better?”

“Maybe we should go back and meet her. Would you like that?”

Rose glanced at him. He was in a show-off-y mood, she could tell, his blue eyes bright with excitement as he looked at her. These could be his most enjoyable moods. “Sure,” she said, indulgently, turning the DVD off. Could be interesting to watch the Doctor and Cleo interact. “Can we stay in the palace with her?”

“If you like.” The Doctor was already heading out of the room, toward the control room, to set their course. Rose followed behind him. “Maybe it would be nice for a bit of a break. A holiday.”

“Well, first we’ll have to save the universe, of course.”

“Never.” He was punching buttons and pulling levers now. “Nice, calm visit to Cleo’s Egypt. We’ll pop in, we’ll pop out. Come, see, conquer.” He graced her with one of those face-splitting grins, as the TARDIS landed in one of its untidier fashions.

Rose, once she regained her balance, inquired, “We there?”

The Doctor gestured toward the door, pleased with himself. “See for yourself.”

Rose walked over to the TARDIS and opened the door. She was met by brilliant sunlight shining down on a bustling marketplace. The buildings were cream coloured, and she could make out the point of an obelisk over the rooftops.

Rose, delighted with the scene, turned back to him and grinned, poking her tongue out between her teeth. “You gonna have to wear a loincloth?”

“Don’t be daft,” said the Doctor.

“No, you’ll just change your jumper again. I’m sure you’ll fit right in.”

The Doctor looked over her shoulder at the marketplace in front of them. And frowned. “Oh. Well.”

Uh-oh. “‘Oh, well’ what?”

“I may have got the course a bit wrong.”

Rose looked from him to the marketplace and back again. “But it’s ancient Egypt, innit?”

“Of course it is,” he told her, indignantly. “It’s not like I’d be that far off. It’s just a bit more ancient than I intended. Dynasty 20 of the New Kingdom. One of the Rameses-es, and that’s hard to say. According to the way you humans keep time, it’s about 1,100 years before the birth of Christ. And this.” The Doctor stepped out of the TARDIS, closing it behind them. “This is a golden age.”

“Well, that’s lovely.”

“Is it?” He crossed his arms and leaned back against the TARDIS, surveying the marketplace.

His eyes had shuttered—a look she knew well, and one that she knew it was her job to try to relieve. “Isn’t it?” she asked. “Golden age—how much better can it get?”

“A golden age is only golden in comparison to the disaster that comes after it. Golden ages are a fancy way of saying ‘beginning of the end.’ In a few decades’ time, this place will be overrun with war and famine and poverty and disease.”

Rose looked at him for a second. “Well,” she said, softly, “everything has its time, right?”

The Doctor took a breath and then smiled at her. She returned it. “Right,” he said.

“We’ve got a golden age in front of us.” She hooked her arm through the crook of his. “Let’s go explore.”

“Let’s do that.”

They walked slowly down one of the many narrow alleys branching off from the market; shutters and doors were thrown open allowing air and light into shops and residences, and even in the narrow space bright, vibrant awnings had been erected. Rose marvelled at the bustle and colour of the city.

“S’ where are we, then? And don’t you dare say Egypt.” She grinned up at the Doctor as they came to a crossroads. More stands had been erected in the small space, and the sound of people bartering filled the air.

The Doctor looked down at her, eyes twinkling; in the bright, clear light of the day, they were a particularly intense shade of blue. “We’re in the Capital.”

“What, Cairo?”

The Doctor gave her a long-suffering look. “Cairo didn’t become capital until the late 10th Century. Anno Domini. No—we’re in Tanis.”

Rose looked thoughtful, and the Doctor deftly steered her down another of the narrow alleyways. “Tanis? Why does that sound so familiar?”

“Hmm. Tanis Diena? Lithuanian Pig festival? No, don’t imagine you’d have had much call to celebrate that, not so close to Valentine’s Day for you. Don’t see you reading Dragonlance, so it can’t be Tanis Half-Elven.” He paused, thinking. “Coulda been you heard it while Rickey the Idiot was playing Home—“

Rose cut him off. “I know! Raiders of the Lost Ark!” She beamed up at him. He rolled his eyes. “You know. Harrison Ford? Snakes? Nazis? ‘I hate those guys’?” The Doctor gave her a blank look, and Rose shook her head pityingly. “We’ll watch it next movie night. How is it you know about Lithuanian pig festivals, but you’ve never seen Raiders of the Lost Ark? Harrison Ford was just…” Rose ended with a dreamy sigh.

“Busy, me. Things to do, don’t always have time to visit the cinema, especially on Earth.”

She gave him a sceptical “Mmm hmm” as they continued down another alleyway.

“Right, so, Tanis. Relatively new right now, won’t hit its proper stride until some point in the next Dynasty. Not a bad time to see it, really—it’s not been mucked up yet.”

He navigated them through more alleys, her hand still tucked in the crook of his elbow, his hand covering hers; they bobbed and weaved through the crowds and the stalls while he gave a running narrative of the history of Egypt. As the pauses in between his sentences became longer, Rose began to grow suspicious.

“D’you know where we’re going?”

“’course I do!”

“You sure? ’cause I think we’re back where we started.”

They stopped, the Doctor taking a long look around. He was prepared to deny the accuracy of her statement when he noted the TARDIS parked unobtrusively off to the side. He sighed. “I would have got us where I wanted, if you hadn’t gone wittering on about a historically inaccurate movie from the early 1980’s,” he said, acerbically. He realized his mistake almost as quickly as Rose did, and he hurried them towards another of the alleys as she teased him.

“You have seen it! We’re goin’ to watch it again, don’t think you’re getting out of it. You can tell me where they got it wrong, and I’ll even humour you.”

“They got it all wrong” he muttered, taking an abrupt right down another of the small alleys. “Still, at least the music’s good. That scene, in the map room, with the music and the panning down the staff…just brilliant!” He grinned as they emerged out onto a wide—well, relatively—street.

After the shade of the alleys, the brightness of the light was dazzling, and Rose had to squint while her eyes adjusted. Finally the brightness resolved itself, becoming crèmes, yellows, and whites— the shades of the many obelisks, statues, and buildings she could see lining the…well, she supposed it was really an avenue. The neutral tones were punctuated by the bright hues colouring various structures and monuments, and the overall effect was striking. The Doctor took an abrupt left, guiding her along the road; he certainly had something in mind, from the determination in his stride. As they rapidly walked along the avenue, she noted several of the side streets sloped downward. “Are we on a hill?” she asked, her surprise tingeing her voice.

“Not quite. Tanis was built on a sort of mound. We’re on the Nile delta, and it floods a lot—that was their solution. Doesn’t work, not really, and they’ll eventually abandon this place because of it.” The monuments gave way to a high brick wall on their right; the Doctor continued striding forward.

The hint of a troubled tone had returned to his voice, and Rose once more sought to ease it. “So where are you taking us? Now that we’re not lost?”

“We were never lost, Rose, I just took a wrong turning. Which was your fault, if you recall.”

“Was not. Still doesn’t answer the question, though.”

He slowed, moving her hand from the crook of his elbow so he could hold it in his own. “Here we are. In your time, they call this the Temple Precinct—not much left of it by then, especially what with years of folks taking what they found.” He guided her to the gate; when challenged by the guard, he deftly flashed the psychic paper to get them through.

Rose gasped. In front of her stood one of the most incredible structures she’d seen on her travels. Beautiful sandstone walls rose to an amazing height, and she was awestruck by the sheer mass of the place. The path leading to it was lined with carved animals—lions, perhaps? Or maybe something else?—and large columns flanked the entrance to the building. “’s incredible,” she whispered reverently.

“Modelled on the one down in Karnak, but built with the local goods. They don’t like to let the riff raff in—wouldn’t do for them to see what it is their priests really get up to—but no visit to Tanis would be complete without a stop by. And we’re not riff raff.”

Rose gaped at the view in front of her and, not for the first time, wished she had a camera with her. “Does any of this survive? To my time, I mean?”

“No. Too much happens, and the stone isn’t the best. By your time, it’s almost all ruined. Just a bit of the wall, some obelisks, some toppled statuary. But here, and now? It’s the most important place in the country.”

With his air of authority and absolute belonging the Doctor was able to escort Rose through much of the Temple, and she once again wondered at his ability to just do things like that. The columns outside weren’t a patch on the ones inside, and the statues of former Pharaohs were amazing. By the time they re-emerged into the brilliant—and warm—sunshine, she was stunned silent.

They walked over to a small pond; the calm water was dark, the near blackness broken only by the green leaves and bright colours of the lotus blossoms.

The Doctor, catching Rose’s mood, let silence stretch between them. Rose stood and looked at the pond for a long moment. Finally, she remarked, softly, “’S beautiful. Everything about this place is beautiful.” She sent him a crooked smile. “Cleo’s nowhere to be seen, but all the same…”

He smiled back. “You know, the Egyptians thought the world began from a lotus blossom.”

She glanced back at the flowers. “Really?”

He nodded. “There was a lotus blossom, the first lotus blossom of all time, a beautiful lotus blossom. And when its petals opened, inside was the Sun God Ra.”

“That’s nice,” she smiled. “A beautiful creation story for a beautiful society.”

“Of course, there was a conflicting story that the world was created from an act of masturbation.”

“Ah,” said Rose, not knowing quite how else to react.

The Doctor turned and, after leading her back out the gate, began descending the short rise of the Temple District. Rose kept pace with him, her hand once again tucked in the crook of his arm.

“So back to the lotus story,” she said, as they walked.

“What about it?”

“Where did the first lotus come from?”

The Doctor shrugged. “Where does the first anything come from? You lot just make it up as you go along, don’t you? Something had to be the first something of all time, and why not agree that the first something was a lotus blossom, and agree not to think any harder about it?”

Rose paused. “Is that what we do?” They were closer to the bustle of the markets now—she could hear the noise of the bartering increasing as they approached. “Make up something and then…decide not to think about it anymore?”

The Doctor grinned at her. “Never. Oh, sure, you try to, you try to say that the world came out of a lotus blossom, and then the next person comes along and says that he begs to differ but he thinks the root of creation is masturbation, and then there’s a bit of bickering about it until the next human comes along with the next new idea and it’s really all very boring, Rose.” They were in the market now, walking along the stalls. “D’you want a souvenir?” he asked, nonchalantly, trying not to sound like he was offering to buy her a trinket.

Rose knew if she teased him about buying her a trinket, he’d never do it, so she bit her tongue and tried not to look absolutely delighted as he paused by a tent displaying an array of knick-knacks: bronze mirrors, fans with ostrich feathers, little figurines of animals like hippopotamuses and birds and fish and dogs, a number of small jars, and an array of pendants.

“Maybe a scarab?” asked the Doctor, picking up one of the pendants and holding it out to her.

Rose wrinkled her nose. “I don’t mean to be ungrateful, but it looks like a cockroach.”

“It’s a symbol of rebirth,” he protested.

“Yeah.” Rose leaned closer to examine a necklace made of what looked like a pinkish glass. “Because cockroaches are impossible to kill.”

“Maybe one of these?” suggested the Doctor, nudging one of the jars.

Rose picked it up, took off its lid, and looked inside. “’S nice. I could start collecting coins from everywhere we go, put them in here.”

“That’s not what it’s for.”

“No? What’s it for?”

“Kohl.”

“Kohl?”

“You wear a lot of eye makeup, I thought you might appreciate it.”

Rose grinned at him, poking her tongue between her teeth. “That’s a bit domestic, innit? Noticing my eye makeup.” She replaced the lid, her eyes on the Doctor.

The Doctor looked grumbly. “You wear a lot of it. It would be hard not to notice it. But if you don’t want a kohl jar…” He took the jar out of her hands and put it back down.

“D’you think I wear too much eye makeup?” asked Rose, worriedly, peering into one of the bronze mirrors.

“Maybe this?” suggested the man who was standing behind the table.

Rose had been so caught up in the novelty of shopping with the Doctor that she’d barely noticed the wares’ proprietor. She looked up at him in surprise. He was holding out a small gold pendant of a cat for inspection, dangling off a matching gold chain.

“It’s gold,” said the merchant, unnecessarily.

And expensive, Rose assumed. “I see that. It’s beautiful. But I think one of these, maybe…” She indicated a small hedgehog, for no reason other than hedgehogs were a bit cute.

“But the gold,” persisted the merchant. “It protects life. It restores well-being. Forever.”

Rose smiled indulgently. “Of course it does.” She picked up one of the ostrich-feather fans and waved it experimentally.

“We’ll take it,” said the Doctor, surprising her.

She looked up from the fan, replacing it quickly on the table. “I was just—” But the Doctor was reaching for the cat pendant on its golden chain. He wasn’t talking about the fan at all. She stared at him in surprise, even as he startled her further by fastening the jewellery around her neck.

He smiled, but his blue eyes were fathomless. “Protects life and restores well-being. We could use all the help with that we can get.”

She flushed, her gaze held by his for what felt like an eternity. The moment was broken by the gentle cough of the trader, and the Doctor turned to settle with the man. Rose hastily averted her eyes, embarrassed as much by his words as the gift, and instead focused on picking up the small animals and looking at them.

“A cow? Sign of fertility, that.” The Doctor was done, and she could hear the amusement in his voice. Rose stared down at the small figurine in her hand and hastily set it back down. “Ready to go?” He made to move along to the next tent.

“Doctor?” He paused and looked back at her; even in the shade of the tent his eyes were a brilliant blue, and she once again felt her breath catch. “Can I catch up to you? I just…need a sec.” He gave her a searching glance, considering her request.

“Next tent. Five minutes. Not a second longer, Rose.” He gave her a soft smile before walking on to the next vendor.

Rose turned to the proprietor, who had been paying close attention to the exchange. She hastily shoved her hands into her pockets, searching for something tradable. Pulling her hands back out, she looked at what might be usable and yet not cause a paradox of some sort. The Biro was out, as was the packet of gum. Perhaps the shell comb she’d bought on Dualg? She looked at the man and smiled. “Could I…trade? For something?”

He looked at the comb she proffered, taking it from her and examining it with the air of someone used to assessing the quality of goods. He came to his decision quickly. “For what would you like to trade?”

She looked at the wares spread in front of her, unsure of what the Doctor might like. She had made the decision on the spur of the moment; she thought the Doctor wasn’t someone who received gifts often, and she had felt a pressing need to give him one from this trip.

“A hippopotamus? Sign of fertility?” The small man gestured towards one of the small figurines. Rose blushed and stammered a negative response. “Perhaps a falcon, for protection?” Rose shook her head. The man gave her a steady look, and then looked down at the wares in front of him. Rose shifted; her five minutes were almost up, and she didn’t want the Doctor coming in while she was buying him something.

“The hedgehog. Symbol of protection…or courage.” The man picked up a small figurine and held it towards Rose. The piece was an intense shade of blue that reminded her of the Doctor’s eyes, and she felt something click inside her.

“Perfect.” She smiled and took it from him. “We all square, then?”

The man looked at her. “The exchange is even. Blessings upon you.” He tilted his head, and Rose secreted the small figurine away before moving to join the Doctor at the next tent.

“Thirty-three seconds to spare, Rose Tyler.” The Doctor grinned at her and turned to move along to another stand. She reached down to take his hand and gave it a quick squeeze.

“Punctual, me.”

The Doctor guffawed, and she leaned in to bump shoulders with him. He chuckled, and led her further into the marketplace.

They stopped briefly for a bite to eat, and then spent the rest of the day walking through Tanis. The Doctor pointed out sites of interest—both those that already existed and those that would—and stopped often to explain the significance of a particular carving. Rose felt certain she would have done better in school if her courses on history were even half as interesting as what she learned during their visit, and she found herself enjoying the lesson immensely. The Doctor, for his part, seemed to be having just as much fun, his eyes bright and a smile never far from his face as they walked along the dusty streets.

They returned to the TARDIS as the sun was beginning to set, the two of them walking into the console room in companionable silence. Rose settled on the Captain’s chair, postponing a shower for the pleasure of watching the Doctor work. She couldn’t remember the last time they had gone somewhere and not had to run—if even briefly—from the locals and as a result she couldn’t remember having seen the Doctor so relaxed after a day out. She marvelled at how graceful he was as he flipped levers and spun wheels, and she had a feeling the TARDIS sensed how at ease he was as well; they slipped into the vortex with nary a shudder.

The Doctor spun to face her, bracing himself against the console, ankles crossed as he leaned his weight back. She grinned up at him.

“No running for our lives—that’s a new one.” Her tongue poked in between her teeth, and she had to fight back a laugh as the Doctor rolled his eyes. “Shame about Cleopatra, though.”

“Everyone’s a critic. I give you history—and pop culture—and you find something to complain about.”

“It was very educational.” She laughed, and made to stand. “Think I’m going to get cleaned up. It was nice and all, but a bit…dusty.” She stood in front of him, her hands tucked in her pockets.

He gave her a short nod. “Glad you enjoyed it, then.”

“I did.” She removed a hand from her pocket, the hedgehog clasped in it. It was now or never. “Thank you.” She leaned forward and placed a chaste kiss on his cheek, sneaking the hedgehog onto the console next to him. As she pulled back, the Doctor’s eyes flew down to meet hers.

“You’re quite welcome.”

She smiled, and took a step back. “Meet you in the kitchen in a half hour?”

“Your turn to cook.”

“You lie.”

“Oi! Who cooked yesterday?”

“You’re so full of it.” She grinned as the Doctor pouted. “Oh, fine. But don’t expect anything fancy. Beans on toast, if you’re lucky.” She walked up the ramp to the hallway.

The Doctor turned back to the console with the intention of making a few final adjustments to their course before going to get cleaned up himself. His hand brushed a something, and he looked down to find a small, bright blue, hedgehog perched on the console next to him. He picked it up and examined it closely before turning to look at the departing form of his companion. Returning his gaze to the object in his hand, he smiled before placing it gently atop the console.

~fin~